Gleekfully Blogging

From “Pilot”

You nailed all of my lawn furniture to my roof.

From “Showmance”

Will: Its not the song, you guys just need to get into it.

Kurt: No, its the song, its really gay.

Kurt: They’re gonna throw fruit at us. And I just had a facial.

Rachel: Oh, I’ll press charges if that happens.

You need to call me before you dress yourself. You look like a Technicolor zebra.

From “Acafellas”

Mercedes: Have you ever kissed anybody?

Kurt: Yes, if you mean by “someone” the tender crook of my elbow.

Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion.

Kurt: You can’t kick people out of Glee Club because you don’t like the way they look!

Dakota: Why don’t you shut your face gash and stay away from aerosol cans because you could burst into flames at any second.

From “Preggers”

Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.

My body is like a rum chocolate soufflé. If I don’t warm it up right, it doesn’t rise.

From “The Rhodes Not Taken”

Kurt:Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?

Santana: Your sexuality?

Oh Bambi, I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy.

Kurt: Maybe Quinn is lactose intolerant.

Artie: That doesn’t explain all the crying.

You were right, Mr. Shue. She’d massacre Mariah in a Diva-off.

From “Vitamin D”

I don’t understand how lightning is in competition with an above-ground swimming pool.

Though I’ve been grouped with the boys, my allegiance still remains with you ladies. They declined my offer to do their hair in cornrows and all of my artistic decisions have been derided as too costly because they involve several varieties of exotic bird feathers.

From “Throwdown”

If Sue catches us mingling, we’re cooked. She told me if I even talked to one of Mr. Schue’s kids she would shave my head. And I just can’t rock that look. Even Justin Timberlake is growing his ‘fro back.

From “Mash-up”

Kurt: The slushy war has commenced.

Mercedes: And if Finn and Quinn got nailed, none of us are safe.

You know why they call them slushies, don’t you? Cause it’s what your butt looks like if you have too many of them.

From “Wheels”

“Defying Gravity”? I have an iPod Shuffle dedicated exclusively to selections from “Wicked”. This is amazing.

At least you don’t have to worry about me getting someone pregnant.

We all know that I am more popular than Rachel. And I dress better than her.

Raise your right hand. Your right hand, Brittany.

Burt: Congrats on the kool-aid or the hi-c.

Kurt: High F.